Memories of Padra

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Memories shared after the news of Padra's passing

See also Photo Memories of Padra

Murasaki al'Aevon I never got to meet her, but I loved to see her posts in Blue. She was always so positive dispite everything. I wish I had gotten to know her better or had the chance to meet her in person. I might have been able then to tell her how she inspires me and she is everything I want to be as an Aes Sedai.

I suppose she knows now, eh.

I will certainly miss her uplifting and encouraging posts....

I'm sad for the whole world today.

Rollyn Montagorae I'll always remember visiting her in Florida several years back and staying up most of the night geeking out about Battlestar Galactica and Heroes.

Then, about a year ago, I was going through some rough emotions at an event, and went outside to get some air. Tricia was already out there, and quietly came over to me as I stood thinking. Without any sense of interference or nosiness, she just made sure I was alright, and let me monologue to her for several minutes, before talking with me and leaving me with her gentle smile. She always let you know she was there if you needed a friend or a shoulder. She is what people mean when they talk about someone who is kind.

Riley Maconnar I got to make Padra real. We were gearing up for the 2nd anniversary party in Tennessee, and things were a lot less formal then. Myself and a couple of other people offered to make folks "real". Padra was on my list. The connection was almost instantaneous. After we found out we were arriving in Nashville at close to the same time, she, Lealenya Sedai, and I decided to share a car. Over the years since then she and I have been in touch, and would email each other sporadically. It was funny, we would not talk to each other for months, then it would be a flurry of emails for a week or two, sometimes as long as a month. We became close, and she was always my biggest cheerleader, whether with my work at church, or school.

When she had been laid off from the church she was working at in Atlanta I told she needed to pick up and move out here. We'd find her something. Her response was, "Yea, but you have that thing.... What's it called? 'Arid climate'. I would dry up and blow away."

Last year, while she and I were counting down the days together when she would get one of her drains removed I was frustrated with school, and I asked, "I'm tired. I can has degree now?" She said, "Yes. And a cheezburger too!"

Eireann Namar I've met Padra several times over the past few years, but there are two memories that stick out most for me. The first is my first time meeting her, at Dragon*Con 2005. I was completely blown away by what a beautiful person she was, both inside and out. It's very rare to meet someone like Padra. She was truly special. The second memory is when a few other members and I traveled down to Savannah with her for Mother's wedding. She was being treated for breast cancer at the time, but I would never have known it, except that I was told beforehand. Even in the midst of her very difficult medical problems, Padra was truly a joy to be around.
Kyla Sterling For me, Padra was like that cool girl in school who graduated before I got there but always came back to see us. She was so uplifting, and never had anything negative to say. Whenever I saw that she had posted, I would read it because her perspective on things was so interesting.

I was so proud to be a part of her Ajah.

Aerien Millefiori I was only able to meet her in person once, when my family and I went down to Florida on vacation. She was so positive and so fun, and it was amazing to get to hug her after so long talking online.

I remember asking her to be my shendar, and being so nervous about it, and then she was so enthusiastic in accepting. Whenever we talked, and I'm sure this is true for many people, she made me feel like I had all the support in the world and that I could do anything because she believed that I could.

Katarianna al'Leya I remember when I was working for Disneyworld at the Kilimanjaro Safaris. She bought a ticket for Disney, waited in line for about an hour and then at the front for about 45 more minutes just to ride my tour. Seeing her big huge smile in my rear-view mirror made my day.

She was a fellow former Rainbow Girl, so we were Sisters twice over.

Gosh, I'm going to miss her.

Ben al'Den I had the privilege of meeting her twice during my comparatively brief time here at Tar Valon. The first was at the Atlanta TGS book signing where she was the lady with the really impressive camera promoting J*Con to everyone there. The second time was actually at J*Con itself. I was struck by her elegance and composure. I never had an inkling that there was anything wrong with her medically at all. She was the very image of classy. I honestly can't remember much of what we talked about, just the impression she left, which was that of a warm, thoughtful, and considerate person. She was certainly one of the people I met that weekend that I sincerely and eagerly looked forward to seeing again at future Tower events.
Adolla Ceryia I just had a random memory of playing Are you a Darkfriend at Dragon Con. I never suspected her until she killed me.
Da'mas Tamoryn My story takes place from a long time ago. Sadly i have no recent memories of Padra but i do have one i can share. Eleyan, our Amyrlin, was flying back home from visiting some family down south. She informed us that she had a long layover at the Orlando Airport and wondered if any of our Florida members would like to come see her and make her layover less boring. So of course Padra sent out some messages to us and asked who would like to go. At the time i believe there were about 5 in florida and only 3 of us who were able to go.

So from Tampa she and another drove, i feel bad because i can not remember the others name but i believe she was related to Karassa. They picked me up and away we went. Eleyan got off the plane and we offered her the choice of a relaxing dinner at a Chili's to go there in the airport or trying to leave the airport and going elsewhere. Naturally we ate at chili's and well being the only guy there, i do recall some womanly conversations. After the meal we sat around and chatted and then we sent Eleyan back home on her flight. Afterwords the three of us decided to continue to have some fun. We went and played a game of mini golf, i dont recall much of the game but i do remember pictures and us thinking we could play pool on the mini golf course.

As i said before this is a very old memory, taken sometime between 02 and 04. I regret now that since my return to the tower i never got the chance to reconnect with Padra, but my fond memory of that time i now share with you.


Eleyan Teyal Al'Landerin She could be a sneaky one!!

One of my more oddball memories..... Long story. Gwynidon and I had stayed up very late for a member to get back in, and around 3 am, our coversation disolved into the inherently stupid. So we came up with a hypothetical. Aliens have come to earth and stolen all of your loved ones and family. They are going to kill them all in horrible ways unless you aquiece (enthusiastically!) to their one request. They want to.... they want to film human pr0n. (Told you it was dorky ). You have to chose one person in the Tower, one male and one female, with whom you are willing to work with in order to stave off the aliens (so, completely altruistic motives.... it's all of your loved ones!!!). And you have to appear to be enjoying it. Who do you pick?

Oddly, when we explained this joke to Padra (who I think was the next person we posed the question to), she thought it was hillarous. Since then, whenever we've gotten in groups together, this question inevitably pops up. And she was the most spectacular teller of the story, adding embelleshments and speaking with incredible forthrightness and urgency. Hearing her pose the question was, in the end, more fun than hearing everyone's answers.

I loved being silly with her. Her sense of humor was so broad, and she laughed so easily. I miss her very much.

Eleyan Teyal Al'Landerin Da'Mas, the third was Lealenya (Brown Sedai), Karassa's cousin.
Da'mas Tamoryn Yep, thats the name, i now remember it now that i see it. Thanks
Serenla Tamowith God, her smile. Whenever I've ever thought about Padra, it's been with that huge smile on her face. I was lucky enough to be able to road trip with her twice to Savannah to see Eleyan. She was just one of the kindest, most generous people I've ever met in my life. I can still hear her voice and her laugh.
Gwynidon Camyrin Padra was the very first Tower person that I met at D*Con 2004 we had such a fantastic time getting to know one another. Since then she has been one of my closest friends and I have had many times with her and I just hanging out. But perhaps my favorite time was when we were at D*Con 2005 we got stuck in a Marriott Elevator for many hours, it was just the two of us and we both got to just talk and laugh, god did we laugh.
Zashara Da'sainne Taking that picture of Gwyn and Padra in the elevator at the Marriott.

That fake "OMG" expression she had that was adorably cute.

Dinner at that Mexican place when I visited the ATL last year. She made and effort to come see me (with Serenla and Jen/Jimmy) and we had a great time just chatting and laughing.

Addelyn al'Vera Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to get to know her that well but the few times we were at events together, she would give me the biggest, warmest hug. She was one of those people that everyone loves and adores. Padra was just so very loving and selfless.
Sela Narian Padra was high on the list of people in my life I wanted to see over and over. I last saw her two months ago at JordanCon, where we shared a bed for the weekend. I was filled with glee when I found out she was attending and when room arrangements turned out this way, because...well, if you knew her, the strange thing would be to not feel glee when you hear you're going to see her soon. When I realized I would never feel that surge of tingling happiness and anticipation over hearing she'd be at the same event as me again, it broke my heart.

There aren't many in my acquaintance I could say were at the level of moral goodness and kindness Tricia seemed to be at with such grace and ease, simple as breathing. She lived, therefore she loved. She cared. When she smiled at you, it shined light onto her face and onto yours; I'm not kidding and I'm not exaggerating. She was witty and clever and one of the most decent, genuine people I knew.

She loved, loved, loved brownies. She adored being Blue. It was part of her core and she took such pride in her ajah. She's always been one of the quintessential Blues to me.

Every time I watch Lord of the Rings, I wait for Padra's avatar. Liv Tyler walks up the hill and suddenly, "There's Padra!! There's Padra!!" That's what we say every time. I told her about doing this a few years back and she admitted she did the same: "There I am! Right there!" She even bought the dress her avatar is wearing. I'm afraid of my reaction the next time I watch.

This might sound silly, but those of you who have read Mistborn and know the allomancy of soothing emotions, she was sort of like that. She stood in the room and her presence calmed the people around her, lifted their spirits, made them happier.

She was one of the loveliest and best people I knew and I am battling against the urge to proclaim the platitude of unfairness that the best people get taken early, because it won't do a thing to help and it will only frustrate more. Cancer may have taken her body but her soul is free and what's more, she lives among us forever in our memories and our love.

But right this instant, I just want her back to give her another hug and see her smile again. I'm honestly in shock over this.

Eniara Kisharad I wrote this in the other memorial thread, but since it's a memory I figure it warrants copying here too. It, and the roadtrip we took across Texas for 5th Anni, are some of my fondest memories of Padra.

I have a stuffed jackalope that Padra, out of the blue, bought for me at 5th Anni. She found it amusing my being the Brown rebel with a jackalope pet instead of a dust bunny, and when she saw him she thought of me. I woke up one morning to this flying fluffy thing hitting me in the head, and ever since Graham has traveled across multiple continents and countries with me, to Tower parties and every time I've moved. He sits here next to me now, and I shall hug this fluffy toy and remember a friend who was one of the most beautiful souls I've ever been blessed to meet.

Penryn Lendayl I met Padra at my first D*Con. She was the second Tower person that I met there and she brought goodies that she'd made at home, Hello Dolly's and Blue Brownies. She immediately struck me as what I imagined an Aes Sedai to be. She was beautiful and sincere, she had a magnetic presence about her that was irresistible, and she was such a pleasure to be around you found yourself seeking her company above others. It is an unbearable loss, but I consider myself outlandishly lucky to have known her at all.
Mhór Rioghain Blathnaid Her convincing me to go to Australia Zoo (as an Aussie and a Queenslander I never really liked Steven Irwin, I appreciated all he did, I just didn't like his ocker aussieness)

But we went, we had a great time, trying to find Steve (obviously before he died). We even got a picture in his 4wd ute but alas I lost my copy and I think Padra has the only copy of it left...

She was a lovely person that I didn't really have anything to do wih until she came up to visit me and The Zoo - Morgaine Sedai sent her to me and from that day one she become one of my favourite five!

Lenore Carvoe Padra was so full of life, hope and plans. My favourite memory of her is, when she told us in the Blue Chambers about everything she had to go through to have her breast reconstructed, how the procedure would be and which kind of nipple she would have liked to have. It was so wonderful to read and so incredibly touching: Getting to know very intimate details about a disease women fear more than any other. She wasn't complaining, not at all - she was still able to laugh heartily and did so often. Realising that she won't be able any more makes me cry.
Serenla Tamowith So road trips, Dragon*con, JordanCon and local stuff with Padra, all were fun.

On road trips I have to have music. Everyone typically does that nicey-nice, I don't care what we listen to thing. I then subject people to my somewhat eclectic taste.

During one of these road trips, while I was inflicting lots of different kinds of music on folks, I found out something that always makes me giggle. As a teenager, Padra had a car whose radio only played Juice Newton. It's true! The tape got stuck in there and wouldn't come out. So any time she drove around and wanted music, she was stuck with the same Juice Newton album.

We of course found this out while I was making folks listen to, yep, Juice Newton on one of my old mix CDs.

Willow al'Meana I remember when I first met Padra, not long before I was Raised to Blue Aes Sedai. She immediately struck me as someone who was very different, in an amazing way. The great energy that came from her, such a fantastic warmth and caring. She made me feel very at home with my Sisters. I knew I could say just about anything and she would be there filled with open ears, an open mind, open arms and an open heart. She is the type of person I aspire to be. I looked up to her as one might look up to a big sister and I always will. Truly, I will miss her.
Kytheria al'Shea It's true, whenever I think of Padra it's always that beautiful smile I picture.

She is in all of my memories of my early days as a Blue Accepted and all of those old Blue traditions. She had a true devotion to brownies and s'rediti... and her sisters. Blue is just not going to be the same without her, though she will continue to be a model.

It's hard for me to express myself on the subject just now, because I've honestly been shocked by the abrupt news. I want to mention, though, what a source of strength and kindness she was for others dealing with cancer issues, even in the midst of her own battle and recovery. When she came back to us recently, despite all of her own ongoing struggles, she still found time to speak privately with me about the things going on in my life, with her usual kindness, concern, and respect for privacy (something we shared, and I loved her for it). She brought the same kindness, caring, and tact to issues she was plunged into upon returning to the site after a long absence, which have always been virtues we feisty Blues need during controversies. I will always remember and appreciate her genuine desire to help the rest of us through our troubles, never mind her own. Not being a patient person, myself, I always admired her for that unlimited patience and positivity.

And I should mention one of the many ways that Padra, specifically, helped me appreciate and stick with this crazy community... 5th Anniversary in Texas was the first official party I finally decided to attend. Tricia was so solid, so sweet, witty, and normal that I was able to relax in her presence. By just being herself, she helped convince me that not everyone was... completely intense (this was also the same party at which I met Ginger for the first time, let's note). My first meeting with so many of my Blues just wouldn't have been Blue without Padra.

Lucas al'Baine I never got to know Padra personally but being affiliated to the Blue Ajah through Sayerin I at least got to enjoy some of her private posting.

I was touched and saddened by the many tributes I saw on facebook. The community spirit really brought me to tears. My heart goes out to her family in this terrible time.

Andra Mikolan I met Padra in person a couple of times. I remember her smile, but not much else about our in person interactions, unfortunately. However, she had a very real impact on my life last year.

I walked in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk for the Cure last year. It's the longest event of it's kind. Participants walk 60 miles over the course of 3 days, camping out in a pink tent city for two nights. I'm not in the best of shape, but I had chosen this as my personal cause and was determined to participate. At the end of Day One, and 18.5 miles, I couldn't stand up straight, and had never felt anything like that muscle pain and exhaustion. There is a post office in camp, and out of curiousity, I decided to see if anyone had sent me anything. To my surprise there were three cards from Padra. One for each day. Not even my family had sent me anything, but she did. That's the kind of person she was.

I saved each card to be read at the end of the day it was labeled. She told me she was proud of me. She encouraged me to keep going. She told me thank you.

Her words made me cry, but they also lifted me up and put wings on my feet. At the end of the longest day, Day Two, when I despaired of what I was doing to myself, when I was calling myself an idiot for even thinking it was a good idea, I read her card. She told me she was sure my feet were aching by now. But that she knew I was doing the best that I could. She told me thank you again. She told me she was proud of me.

So I was able to get up the next day, after 40 mph winds had battered my tent all night, and go 15 more miles. I walked across the finish line, nearly the last one, but I had her voice, her words, and I kept on.

I'm walking in it again this year, even knowing what I'm in for. And this time, I'll take her cards along as yet another reason to keep going. I have someone else to add to the Remembrance books that travel the country with the 3-Day every year.

So thank you Padra, for your words, for your kindness, for giving my feet wings.

Branwyn al'Leara The first time we met, even though we hadn't chatted a huge amount around the boards, she came up to me, with that winning smile on her face, said 'BRAN!!!' and gave me the biggest hug ever. Every time we saw each other in person, she was genuinely glad to see me, and I her. She was such an amazing and wonderful person and I love her as a Sister and a friend. I regret not knowing her better, but am blessed to have known her at all.
Riley Maconnar When she was still working for the non-profit in Florida, she had a lot more time to just chat and such. I would look down and see my MSN messenger blink and there would be "HELLOOOOO!"

One time she could see a car parked outside her office building with a guy with sunglasses on in it. We decided he was a spy, and that we needed to figure out what his mission was. So for about an hour we speculated together. She'd give me updates using codes names. She was, of course, PadraBlue, and I was S'Redit Eye. I think we decided he was waiting for Beautiful Natasha, who never came. She stood him up. He was going to have to find a new contact.

Later, after she moved to Georgia and didn't have as much time she would title her emails "HELLOOOOOO!". I so ooked forward to seeing them.

Miridyth Al'Landerin Where to begin.

I first met Tricia/Padra when I went to my mom's home on July 4th, exactly almost five years ago. She and Mother were helping to get me drunk and then it was "OMG YOU HAVE TO JOIN THIS SITE!!" and they hovered over me while they plunked in my information and helped me pick an avatar. Her and Mother were the first ones to officially welcome me into the tower.

She was then my roomie buddy at D'Con that year. Best bed buddy ever. She didn't snore, hardly moved...I mean if one had to share a bed..Padra was a saint . She woke up happy, we both grumbled about having to share a bathroom and both had a rabid interest in the fandom star area. OHHHH how we both adored Richard Hatch aka Apollo from the first BSG. We stood around his table waiting for him until suddenly we felt an arm go around both of our shoulders and we heard "WHERE is that Richard Hatch???" We squealed like little girls to find ourselves hugged by the most handsome Richard!! We got autographs and photos and then sneaked off to get pictures with Deanna Troy of Star Trek fame. We had a blast.

She decided she had had enough of fast food and convinced me to go to "morton's", a steak house. We spent a small fortune, drank good wine and talked and talked.

Over the years, I was blessed to have many encounters with her. From that silly ghost tour (loved the pictures) to another D'con, to my sisters wedding and most recently Jordan Con where we talked for hours.

We also took a trip to a tower wedding together...she liked show tunes, I liked modern music...we opted for longwinded conversation for four and a half hours. Best time ever.

One thing I definitely remember is her love for her Blue Ajah. Oh we would talk about how great our ajah's were...and she definitely LOVED her blues!! Whenever we would meet up I would ask her "Any good gossip?" And she would give me a huge smile and say "OH yes!!" but she never would gossip...she honestly loved all her blues equally and unequivacally.

She was a listener. A person who was honestly as good in her heart as she lived. I can honestly say that my only regret is that we didn't call more or pm more. However, when we would get together it was as if the time just flew by.

It floored me when I got the call from my sister tha she had passed. I have not cried over a lost relative or a friend. I kept wanting it to be a sick joke.

She and I had just spent time talking at Jordan Con about our breast cancer recovery. I would never wish it on anyone, but what a joy and solidarity it was to share recovery with someone who had been there, done that, and had a rougher time and could still joke about it with me. I told her...she was my hero. She just smiled that little smile of hers and said " too" I told her about my issues about walking during breast cancer month. She shared hers. We made plans to walk this next April together. First lap is for survivors. I will walk alone, but I will walk for her, my aunt who battled 7 years and my friend I lost 20 years ago. This will be hard and I tear up as I think about it. She SHOULD be here by my side. She did everything right. She did everything they told her to do. She should have still been here.

I lost a very good friend. I am thankful that I still have pictures of her in my head and can still hear her voice. I still can't believe she is gone. This next weekend will be hard. I thank Mother and the site for the memorial thread, the pictures everyone posted, the kind memories everyone shared. It says alot for who she was and who we are.

May you have a good "home going" sister and friend.

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